Debra Heim [00:00:09]:
Well, I call it alternative hair alchemist. First of all, I use the words alternative hair. But alternative hair, just simply by using those words kind of takes the stigma, the sting, out of the word wig. I mean, when you say the word wig, people think of the bad wigs that they see on people. They think of the weatherman's toupee flying up. I thought the words alternative hair was a nice change. And then alchemist, simply because the magic that feeling good about yourself will do.

Kevin Rolston [00:01:02]:
Welcome to Hairpod, the podcast where you get to hear real people talk about their hair journeys. I'm your host, Kevin Raulston, and each week I get to interview people from different walks of life whose lives have been touched by hair loss in some form or fashion. Many of our guests have experienced hair loss themselves and found a way to get their confidence and their hair back. This week's guest is Deborah Heim. She's a certified confidence and happiness coach alternative hair specialist, and the host of the alternative hair Alchemist podcast. As a specialist in alternative hair, Deborah empowers her clients to put themselves and their self esteem first because she's experienced firsthand the ripple effect that can have in your life. She understands what it's like for her clients going through hair loss because she has been there herself.

Debra Heim [00:01:55]:
It started all the way back in nursing school, which would have been about 1981, probably before a lot of your listeners were born. But I started to, you know, I guess it was, I didn't see a dermatologist then, but it was definitely stress related, and I would lose patches, and it was very visible. And back then, there were not a lot of alternative hair solutions. So basically, I would just try and make the best of it with hairspray and covering it up. Oh, wow. Yeah. And it really does affect your well being. I mean, yeah.

Kevin Rolston [00:02:35]:
About what age were you when you were noticing this hair loss?

Debra Heim [00:02:38]:
Probably about 2021.

Kevin Rolston [00:02:41]:
Okay. All right, so that's at an age where typically, that's young to be experiencing hair loss and something where I imagine you were very self conscious about at the time.

Debra Heim [00:02:51]:
Yes. Well, I found that as a child, I always had very thin and fine hair, and it never really grew. I always wanted long hair. It never would get past my shoulders. And later on in life, when I had testing done, I got the diagnosis of alopecia areata. But until then, you know, there's at least there's a way to find out now.

Kevin Rolston [00:03:16]:
So we have you in nursing school. Stress related hair loss. You are losing patches. You're doing your best to cover up. Does your hair loss get worse from there. And what did you notice? What was the next phase of your hair loss journey?

Debra Heim [00:03:30]:
Well, the next phase actually happened in 2003 when I was going through a situation with chemo. So I. That's when I first started to venture into wigs, and I felt great. You know, the hair was much prettier than mine ever was, and I enjoyed wearing them. But at the end of my chemo journey, my family kind of shamed me out of wearing them. Like, oh, you know, you're not in treatment anymore. You don't need to wear a wig. And I let you know, that's why I'm very passionate now about following what you want to do for yourself.

Debra Heim [00:04:09]:
So again, I went through. That's when I started to see the dermatologist. I tried, you know, every supplement out there, everything to if there was a remedy on tv or that I heard about, I was trying it, and it just really very minimal success. And at that time, they told me that it was definitely stress related. But I'm like, how am I going to get a hold on that? Because at the time, I was a very busy registered nurse. But now, as I've made those changes, I do find that when you can eliminate stress from your life, I've had a great deal of regrowth, but I still have patches, but it's still a lot of regrowth just by lifestyle changes.

Kevin Rolston [00:04:56]:
Can you tell me a little bit more about those lifestyle changes? And I think for a lot of people, because we all kind of deal with stress, how were you able to finally get to a point where seemed like stress was beating you and then you finally beat stress? So how did you make those kind of adjustments?

Debra Heim [00:05:12]:
Well, a lot of major changes. I decided to leave nursing, and that's when I opened my boutique for wigs and hair pieces. But also I left an abusive relationship, which I had a long time pattern of choosing people that were not right for me. And then I had to learn to express my emotions. So, you know, I went to therapy after leaving the abusive situation. But since then, you know, just learning how to honor yourself first and don't stuff feelings, now, that is not an easy thing to tell somebody to do, but if you're able to do even a little bit at a time, it just, you know, it has a ripple effect.

Kevin Rolston [00:05:58]:
How long was the course of this journey in your life? Because this doesn't sound like something where you snap your fingers and it's 48 hours later and you've cured it. So how long did it take for you and what were those stages like, as you were noticing a difference and improvement, and then how did that affect your hair health?

Debra Heim [00:06:15]:
Well, really, the major changes that I was able to implement were only, you know, within ten years. Like I said, I left nursing behind, but a lot of that was just me, not, you know, knowing how to manage my own stress. So my hair started to come back probably over a period of five years. And I think also that was instrumental was the fact that when I got okay with the fact that alternative hair is okay, whether you grew it or you bought it, if the hair makes you feel good. And when I allowed myself to not feel any guilt or stigma about hair replacement, that's when I feel the stress really let up, because when you look in the mirror and you're okay with how you look, it seems like, you know, it just also has a ripple effect through your life.

Kevin Rolston [00:07:10]:
To an outsider, it may seem like choosing a hair loss solution that made her feel happy in confidence should be a total no brainer for Debra. But for people who go through hair loss, they know it's not always that simple, because it's the stigma that holds you back or the fear of the unknown. Most of us have an emotional hurdle to get over before we can actually seek a hair loss solution. For Deborah, that hurdle had everything to do with the people around her, not exactly supporting her desire to wear a wig.

Debra Heim [00:07:43]:
It began by slowly deciding that I was going to honor myself in one small assertion at a time. Like I said, I had to change a lot of the people I was hanging around with, and, you know, who I was choosing to spend time with. And the things like meditation in the morning, anything that you can do to reframe how you believe about yourself. And it was slow, but gradual. But again, I have to say that even I would still probably. I just like hair, so I would be okay with wearing a wig, even if I did have hair. And I find women that come to me are still have, like, some type of guilt that they feel like they're not allowed to get hair replacement. Whether it's, you know, whatever route they're going to.

Debra Heim [00:08:36]:
They want the diagnosis from the dermatologist, it seems like. And then I've heard so often, well, I'm going to wait to either get a wig, get a topper, get extensions, until I find out why, and then I'm going to try XYz. Well, I say throw everything at it, try XYz. Continue trying to find that, but don't stop yourself if you want to take action, to make yourself feel about better, about how you look. Don't let anything stop you.

Kevin Rolston [00:09:10]:
I think that's one of the reasons why we really wanted to do the hairpod, was to talk about the stigmas and how I think it's radically changing from where it used to be about people who were wearing wigs or hair pieces or things like that. That today, whatever you need to do to feel good in your own space.

Kevin Rolston [00:09:26]:
And people do feel a lot better.

Kevin Rolston [00:09:28]:
When they have a full head of hair.

Kevin Rolston [00:09:29]:
Their confidence, it just changes, and it's just a lot easier for people to.

Kevin Rolston [00:09:34]:
Go through this thing we call life, when you have very good self esteem and hair does that for so many people.

Debra Heim [00:09:39]:
Yeah, there's. I have a sign in my shop that, you know, hair is the crown you wear every day. So whatever you need to do to make that feel better. And you're right, the stigma has decreased markedly since I first opened my shop. And I think a lot of what has to do with that is the quality of hair replacement. Now, you know, you cannot detect it, whether it's my client or, I'm sure any of your clients. Nobody knows and nobody has to know.

Kevin Rolston [00:10:08]:
So, yeah, now tell me, for somebody that's listening right now and they're wanting to know, okay, am I ready for a wig or any kind of hair piece, what would you say to them? How would you know? And when is that time to invest in a wig or look into that?

Debra Heim [00:10:24]:
I really find that anytime that you find, if you're staying at home, if you're looking in the mirror and you don't want to go to a family event or out to dinner because you just don't like how you look, well, then now is the time. And then I find sometimes women will say, oh, but, you know, it might grow back. Well, yes, absolutely, it might. But if you're staying at home now, why delay? And that's like a huge. It really, when you get okay with how you look, everything turns around for the better.

Kevin Rolston [00:10:59]:
Now, if you got a wig, would that damage the hair that you have? So if you were hoping that maybe your regular hair would grow back to a place where you feel confident with it, are you doing damage by wearing a wig?

Debra Heim [00:11:09]:
Absolutely not. If you get a properly fitting wig, we call it cranial prosthesis. There's. What I have in my store is definitely made to be worn every day without damage to your hair. And how the wig fits your head is immensely related to how good it looks or how realistic it looks. So fit is very important. If anything, ive had people have their hair grow back just simply because that stress of looking in the mirror and worrying about it, or when you brush your hair and you empty your brush and theres all this hair. So once thats over with, it seems like, you know, when the attention is away from the hair loss, it seems to improve.

Kevin Rolston [00:11:55]:
Evan, that's a crazy concept, that a wig could actually help your real hair grow back.

Kevin Rolston [00:12:00]:
That's pretty amazing.

Debra Heim [00:12:01]:
It sounds crazy.

Kevin Rolston [00:12:02]:
It does, but I think it's really cool. So tell me, if you want to start this process, how do you find somebody, and then where do you go from there? What are we talking about with the market for wigs?

Debra Heim [00:12:15]:
Well, hopefully there is a qualified wig shop near the person. I say qualified because most of wigs are available at, like, beauty supply stores, where it tends to be. But any place you want to start is fine. So most people start on the Internet or a beauty supply store simply because the cost is less. And every single hairpiece or wig you get, you will learn from, and it's a progression through it. Now, somebody new comes to my store, and I see them in person. I can cut through a lot of the trial and error, because simply by looking at them and talking to them, I know what manufacturers make what and what color and what styles going to work on them. So, you know, then I start the try on process, and absolutely everybody leaves my shop with something they didn't expect.

Debra Heim [00:13:09]:
They come in with pictures, or they think they want something that looks a certain way, but they leave with something totally different. Usually.

Kevin Rolston [00:13:23]:
Making the decision to prioritize your mental health by pursuing some sort of hair loss solution can be a really liberating moment for some folks. But once you've made that decision, suddenly you got to figure out what kind of hair loss solution you want to try. And the amount of options can sometimes be a little overwhelming. Finding the right professional to guide you and doing your research about all the available options is a great next step to take.

Debra Heim [00:13:52]:
A good synthetic, at least, and I live in Pennsylvania, which is kind of a rural part of the country. I would say it's not unheard of to start at $250. Some of the top of the line, heat friendly synthetics that are hand tied go all the way up to, like, 750. So, you know, it's quite a chunk of change for most women who don't want to begin to spend on themselves. But, you know, that's when they start trying to find a cheaper way to go, and then that ends up costing more in the long run. And also the disappointment of trying something and trying something. So if you're going to do it, go to a provider you trust, go to the best and treat yourself like you would treat anybody else in your family.

Kevin Rolston [00:14:39]:
What is the maintenance like for a wig?

Debra Heim [00:14:42]:
Human hair? It's quite extensive care. It's a lot more than what you would do just for the own hair on your head. But for synthetics, it's very minimal. If you get a good moisturizing shampoo, because it's a synthetic fiber, not hair. So as you wash it, if you use products heat style it, it's gonna dry the fibers out. So you wanna keep them moist. So simply a shampoo and a conditioner. And, you know, most of the synthetics, as soon as you wash them, the style snaps right back.

Kevin Rolston [00:15:16]:
And when you get a wig, they'll run down exactly how to maintain it and keep it looking ideal.

Debra Heim [00:15:21]:
They should. When I. That's one of the reasons I opened my store when I first ventured into it. I even went to wig shops and they couldn't tell me. I would say, well, how do I take care of this? Well, I don't know, but we sell a lot of this and then point to a certain shampoo. So there's so many wonderful video in hair influencers now that you can easily find how to care for it on the website. I even have my own video for my shop that's just available for anybody in the public can click. I have somebody take you through shampoo condition, and she addresses a lot of the concerns, the anxieties that someone may have about, you know, the care for it.

Debra Heim [00:16:06]:
So it's really not too hard to find somebody to help you with that.

Kevin Rolston [00:16:10]:
Do you find that you're able to replace some of the other hair products that you were using on your natural hair and you can offset some of the costs that way?

Debra Heim [00:16:18]:
Absolutely. I find that most women will want to continue with the Rogains, the nioxins, but if they have, you know, once they become okay with the alternative hair, sometimes it seems like it's less of a decision to continue with an expensive product that really isn't helping in the long run. That's one of my biggest advices, that some of the money you save on that you could get an excellent wig and be feeling good about yourself.

Kevin Rolston [00:16:50]:
Now, when you do a wig, how secure is it? Are there certain moments or things that you need to be aware of when you're out in public that could affect your wig? Could they come off? Could they move? How hard is that?

Debra Heim [00:17:03]:
If it fits your head properly, it shouldn't come off. I've been on a motorcycle without a helmet. I simply use one piece of wig tape. Yeah, I use a piece of double sided tape in the front. And, yeah, it doesn't go anywhere. It's like it fits to your head, if completely. There are also a number of ways they make, like a spray adhesive. Some women will use, like, there's a body adhesive glue.

Debra Heim [00:17:31]:
But generally, if it's well made, it's not a challenge to keep it on.

Kevin Rolston [00:17:37]:
Now that you've been in this for a while, do you have multiple wigs? Do you just stick with one that gives you that style every single day? What is your own personal choices with your wigs?

Debra Heim [00:17:47]:
I think it's such an individual thing. I personally switch it up all the time, and I recommend this to clients. If you find a color and length you like, get a straight one and get a wavy one. And then when you alternate them, it looks like you just did your hair different. And, you know, it saves so much time, and it really opens up the whole world. It's like alternative hair can be a whole nother form of self expression.

Kevin Rolston [00:18:18]:
Debras commitment to helping people whose self esteem has been negatively affected by their hair loss is truly amazing. Not only does she help clients in her shop find wigs that suit their style and needs, she also hosts a podcast for those listeners who may not be comfortable reaching out for help. Podcasts like Hairpot and Debras podcast, alternative hair alchemist, help break down the isolation that the stigma surrounding hair loss causes for so many people.

Debra Heim [00:18:51]:
Well, I call it alternative hair alchemist. First of all, I used the words alternative hair specifically when I opened my shop in 2017. And I had to do a lot of explaining as to what that actually meant when I was referring to really realistically made wigs and hair pieces. But alternative hair, just simply by using those words, kind of takes the stigma, the sting out of the word wig. I mean, when you say the word wig, people think of the bad wigs that they see on people. They think of the weatherman's toupee flying up. So I thought the words alternative hair was a nice change. And then alchemist, simply because the magic that feeling good about yourself will do.

Debra Heim [00:19:40]:
I heard that word, and I thought, that's what it is. It's alternative hair alchemy.

Kevin Rolston [00:19:44]:
One of the really big motivations for us doing our podcast here with the hairpod is to let people know that this is a whole new era of hair. It's not what it used to be. And there's a whole new attitude around it, which you embody so well. And your story is just amazing with where the attitudes were even within your own family, and the shame and the guilt that they put on you to how you overcame that to where you are now. And now you're trying to let other people know that, hey, alternative hair, it is something that is here, and it is life changing when you do it right.

Debra Heim [00:20:17]:
It's life changing, and it's here to stay. And I also thank the celebrities that are very open about their wig use that look fantastic, like, you know, anybody on the red carpet. And I tell women all the time that most of the time, when you're looking at a celebrity on a red carpet situation, that's a wig. I mean, nine times out of ten, you are looking at a wig, and you just think, somebody has fantastic hair, and only as a matter of convenience sometimes. So, Jeff.

Kevin Rolston [00:20:48]:
Yeah. I had an amazing conversation with my own hairstylist at hair club this last week, and she was running down all the celebrities that she could tell as she looked, only because she has that trained eye to be like, okay, they have hair. And she would look at another photo, and she would see hair loss in certain ways, and she'd be like, yeah, but I had no, I was blown away with every celebrity that she named. Most of them were guys, but with the women as well. I had no idea that there were so many celebrities wearing alternative hair. And until you do, you don't know. And that's really the point, that you, too, could be just like any of those celebrities walk around in life, and people are not going to know that you are not wearing your own natural hair.

Debra Heim [00:21:27]:
True. And, in fact, I prepare my clients when they leave, I say, now people are going to come up to you and ask you, who colors your hair? Who cuts your hair? Who does your hair? And I tell them, you know, you can tell them whatever you want, but be prepared, because alternative hair is the type of hair that turns heads. It's the hair that everybody wants. I have family members that will, like, be slightly envious of the client because they have the hair that they always, the other person, always wanted.

Kevin Rolston [00:22:02]:
We are so grateful to have had the opportunity to speak with Debra as a professional alternative hair specialist, she brings a lot of knowledge and compassionate support for her clients. But beyond that, Deborah is also somebody who's been through hair loss herself and knows just how devastating it can be. And now shes devoted her time and her energy to helping others regain their confidence and self esteem. Thanks for listening to another episode of Hairpot. Check us out at Hair Club on Instagram or search Hairpot on Facebook to continue the conversation. If you know someone who could benefit from hearing this episode, we would love it if youd share it with them. If youre enjoying the show, consider leaving us a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. We also have a website.

Kevin Rolston [00:22:50]:
Just check it out by going to podcast dot hairclub.com. We're here to build people up and share real stories so people experiencing hair loss feel a little bit less alone. And when you share, review, and subscribe, it helps us do just that. So thank you. Until next time. It.